As my two years as President comes to an end, I'd like to thank all of the Officers that I have served with while on the Board of Directors. Especially, our Co-Trip Chairs Bob Morimoto and Dave Bodenstab, and Treasurer Chuck Borcher, since they are the ones who do most of the work.

Currently they are in the process of planning next years trips. The western itinerary is normally locked in before August, so if you have any suggestions, let THEM know as soon as possible.

Where is the club going next year?, the year after?, that is up to the Board to decide, but they need your input on destinations as well as how many trips to run, when to run them, etc.

Normally no one wants to bring up money issues, but since I'm on the way out, I feel it is an appropriate time. The club has a small cash reserve that is used to pay early deposits for trips (early means June,July or August), before we begin sign-ups and collect money. When the trip schedule is set, one of the responsibilities of the Trip Chairs is to come up with a payment schedule that keeps the club from bouncing checks.

So when the club wants $300 from you in October for a ski trip in February, there is a good reason!!! (Chuck says the Bahamas are wonderful in November.)

We definitely have a lot of NEW happening - this year we had a lot of people taking their first trip with IHSC (new blood), and next year's Board of Directors has a lot of new people (fresh meat).

Finally, I'd like to thank all the members of the club that have made my years on the Board an enjoyable and interesting experience. Jim Kuhn

The Feb. 8 ski trip to Cascade was truly a dream come true for those who participated. The day started with something new in the bus trip format. Refreshments included warm Bagels, coffee and orange juice. This was followed with a movie designed for the family. For those who missed it, yes the panda bear did survive the poachers rath. Apon getting to Cascade, many took advantage of the discounted lessons and equipment. The day was clear with very nice temps and traffic on the lifts was not bad. The bus back included a lot of talk, a stop for supper and boose . This trip was helped buy having some people from the Company BACG, fill our bus.

Special thanks to Jim Berken and Rey Maa for making this trip work and adding some creature comforts.

SKI CRESTED BUTTE
by Bob Morimoto

Last January I had the opportunity to participate in a familiarization trip to Crested Butte led by Shari Winter of Winter Ski & Sport.

Our group was comprised of representatives from ski clubs from Chicago, St. Louis, Indianapolis, and Detroit. The group from Chicago flew out on the first flight to Denver on Friday morning, scheduled to arrive in Gunnison Colorado by late morning. This was a change from the planned Thursday night departure caused by a memorable January storm. After waiting in Denver for 6 hours for the connecting flight to Gunnison, we finally arrived at the Grande Butte hotel just in time for the closing of the lifts.

The Grande Butte Hotel is a 262 room full-service hotel at the base of the Keystone and Silver Queen lifts in the heart of the ski village with ski-in/ski-out access to Crested Butte's terrain. The hotel has 262 rooms each with a whirlpool tub and a private balcony. It's amenities include two restaurants, two lounges, a small indoor pool, a hot tub, a game room, and laundry facilities. Just recently Marriott has acquired the Grande Butte Hotel and has completed a complete renovation of the newly named Crested Butte Marriott Resort.

The next morning we met before the lifts opened to the public and got fresh tracks to the Paradise Warming House where we stashed our skis and had a hearty all you can eat mountain breakfast buffet. The remainder of the morning we explored Crested Butte's terrain with our resort guides.

A second chair, the Keystone lift, slants up and left, crossing a gentler area of the front face with a number of meandering green runs. From the top of both of the front side lifts you can access Paradise, a parallel valley running sideways and down to the left which is the heart of the intermediate skiing. The Paradise high speed quad lift brings you into Paradise Bowl, a large open bowl area with many long blue runs. Below the bottom of the Paradise lift is the East River lift that serves steeper continuous blue and black runs. The area to the left of Paradise called the North Face is an experts-only area not found at many other Colorado resorts. It offers 260 acres of serious, ungroomed double-black-diamond skiing for the expert skier.

Location: 28 miles north of Gunnison 230 miles southwest of Denver Snowmaking: Covering trails served by 11 of 13 lifts

Vertical Drop: 2775' (lift serviced) 3062' (total vertical requiring a hike to the peak)

Longest Run:2.6 miles

Number of Trails: 85

Elevation: 12,162' (peak), 9,375' (base area) 11,875' (lift top), 9,100' (lift bottom)

Lift System: 3 high-speed quads, 3 triples, 3 doubles, 4 surface lifts

Terrain: 145 acres beginner, 340 acres intermediate, 125 acres advanced, 550 acres "extreme limits."

After a full day on the slopes we headed off to Crested Butte Ski & Snowboard to reserve a pair of "shape" skis for the next day and then toured a number of lodging properties managed by High Country Resorts.

The properties shown were are one to three bedroom condos with various amenities covering a range of price points. After the property tours we were off to dinner at Slogars in downtown Crested Butte. Slogars serves skillet fried chicken and steak family style with tomato chutney, creamed corn, and mashed potatoes on the side. After dinner the group split and the weary skiers caught the bus back to the resort and the adventurers were off to Kochevar's Saloon and Gaming Hall. Kochevar's is an authentic remnant of the wild west and was built with hand-hewn logs in 1896. Today the locals and visitors mix it up playing pool, darts, and shuffleboard or rocking to the sounds of live music.

The next day we were off for another day of exploring Crested Butte at our own pace. Several inches of fresh snow covered the mountain from the evening snowfall, perfect conditions to try out the "shape" skis. I tried a pair of Atomic Beta CarvX 918's which are considered super-sidecut but don't have the radical sidecut of the Elan SCX. It took a few runs to get the feel of the skis which at first seemed to have a tendency to turn on their own. I recall a few times where I initiated a turn and nearly rotated 360 degrees. The skis turned easily on groomed trails and were much more stable than my skis in crud and powder. I strongly encourage renting a pair of super-sidecut skis the next time you on the slopes.

After another full day on the slopes we toured a number of lodging properties managed by CBMR Properties followed by dinner at Donita's Cantina in downtown Crested Butte. Donita's is the place for huge servings of traditional Mexican fare along with some unusual dishes and pitchers of margaritas.

The following morning we toured a number of properties managed by Crested Butte Accommodations, caught the shuttle back to Gunnison airport, and returned to Chicago connecting through Denver.

In summary, Crested Butte is an intimate ski mountain which welcomes skiers of all abilities, with high scores for experts looking for all-terrain ungroomed snow conditions. Crested Butte has two villages, in/ski-out convenience at the base of the mountain and a well-preserved mining town a few a modern condo complexes for ski-miles away. Great snow conditions are the norm, making a trip to Crested Butte well worth it.

Thanks to the other hosts, Debbie Fox from Crested Butte, Holly Hicks from Crested Butte, Michelle Reep from Crested Butte Accommodations, and Bill Babbitt from High Country Resorts.

Check the IHSC 1997/1998 schedule for a possible trip to Crested Butte.

What a ski season this has been! The Salt Lake City Utah marked the last trip for the Indian Hill Ski Club and DAM was it Fun! For those that missed the trip, I have to say that sadly I can't recreate the fun and excitement, we shared in these next paragraphs. But I'll try. I believe all 19 participants (yes you too Dave Bodenstab) will agree the skiing was fantastic! Like something out of a Warren Miller movie. Undoubtedly, the best ski conditions, this trip leader has ever seen.

It all began like most other trips, pretty eventless and problem free. It only took 3 bell boys and one golf cart to handle Lisa Webers luggage. All kidding aside, it only took 3 bell boys and one golf cart to handle Lisa Webers luggage. Brian Gough must have looked pretty shady because he kept getting asked to step aside, and have someone scan him with a metal detector wand.

Comet Hale-Bopp gracefully lead the way through a clear nights sky. Later, the plane started shaking near Salt Lake, but the pilot assured us that this was normal. Yeah right. Immediately after arriving, the trip leader took control of the situation by misreading the directions to the condos and not taking the correct exit. Me me me me. It wasn't long before Lisa Toso and Brian Gough put us back on the map and got us all safely to our condos. Rey thus earned the nick name, "Map Boy". Debbie Timmins later admitted to having a detailed map for the drivers to follow but, duh, forgot it at home. Upon arrival, the vans quickly designated themselves the grocery and dinner, and the grocery only van.

Pinnacle Highland condos were only a year old and the sod was still being placed on the ground. We had brand new condos to break in. Pinnacle does get a major boner for not providing us with the expected twin size beds. This caused some friction between some people but everyone worked it out nicely. Hide (Hee-day) Kowashima ended up having five female condo mates. Affectionately known as Hides' Harem, the women of condo 22 excepted Hide into their living quarters.

Friday morning was in the high 30s in the valley and Lisa Tosos' van had to stop to let Debbie Timmins out to get her ticket from the condo. Seeing a pattern?

As the trip leader tried to get everyone together for a group picture, he asked a stranger to snap a picture. As I instructed the stranger, the man said "Just find your spot, I'm a professional photographer". Well, who was I to argue. Snap away dud. Soon after, the group all kinda went their own way. Howard Hooper was caught trying to get on the first chair lift using his voucher form instead of a real lift ticket. They basically let him go up once but then had to come all the way down to trade the voucher for a real lift ticket. Way to go Howard. As the day wore on some of us notice Jim Schatz nibbling on a large brownie. So thats why Jim has so much energy! Jim would eat on the chair lift, giving himself these little sugar highs. From then on, Jim was known as "Sugar Man".

After a long day of skiing, it was time to head to the hot tub back at the condos. Having inspected the EMPTY hot tub the night before, Rey didn't know how to break the news to the members. On the way down to the valley, Howard found himself doing a series of U-turns. Having Rey as a navigator didn't help. Howard later admitted that he looks for landmarks to get around. Well they must have moved a couple because Howard ended up making two u-turns that day. "Never fear, Landmark Man will get you there!" Heckled by the BD club, Howard managed to get us home. (BD club = Backseat Drivers club)

When we arrived, I was overjoyed to see the Hot tub was full and ready for us. Word trickled down that there had been two injuries that day and Rey had to investigate. Earlier that afternoon Noriko Komura scramble her brain a little, by using her head to put a dent on the mountain. Noriko was not kidding when she'd say "not today, I have a head ache." Scott Gentry quickly learned that it takes more the 3 skiing experiences to navigate through double diamonds. Luckly, his injuries only slowed him down. Earning the name "Gimp", Scott is wondering: "So when do I get good at skiing?" The trip leader should get the Gump award for not being sensitive to his skiing ability.

At the hot tub, Brian Gough earned the nick name "Bladder Boy" (BB)...I'll let you ask him about that one. Ann Bass had bought a toy swimming frog while waiting at the airport. We named him Utah and quickly discovered that he swims better upside down than the normal way. Maybe his name should change from Utah to Hatu. Howard discovered that Pringles go limp when in contact with hot tub water but a boner nomination, goes to Alan Graves for trying to dry the limp chip.

I didn't inform the crew that Dave "(T)raveling Man" Bodenstab would be meeting us at Salt Lake City and that must have surprised the members of condo 14 when he arrived. Lisa Weber certainly was: "Who's this Dave guy?"

Lisa Weber and Dave Bodenstab are distinguished officers of this club.

After driving around for an hour, we all managed to get together for a nice dinner at Shogun. The food was great and a lot of us single guys thought the (Baywatch like) girls in the neighboring table were too. It wasn't long before Noriko Komura got some cake on her hair and Ben Komar was sampling their drinks. Sadly, for us men, they where all celebrating with their boyfriends. An hour and a half later, the food arrived. Kathy Stewart just couldn't get any of her meals right during this trip. Kathy ended up taking more than half her meals home because the portions where overwhelming. Little did she know that Alan Graves was always near by willing to help.

That night Salt Lake City was hit with two inches of fresh snow. Imagine the conditions in the mountain! Are you ready? Eighteen inches (18) of fresh snow dumped on Snowbird that night. We're talking that nice, fluffy, snow powder that every skier dreams of cutting into. After an hour of looking for Alans Graves ski, Rey Maa bought some powder straps but never used them. I guess having them in his pocket provided him enough piece of mind. me me me me. It was kind of a wet day but everyone had fun. Back down in the valley at the hot tub, the sky was blue and the temperature was in the mid 50s. Light feather like snow blew in from a single nearby cloud. What a great day of skiing. Everyone was happy and it was very apparent at the pizza party. Well until Brian Gough, Roy Petta, and Michelle Mathews started messing with my box of Froot Loops. I had to straiten them out. We all lounged around condo 22s' fireplace and watched some bull rider nearly kill himself on TV. We were beat up, but not as bad as that guy.

The last day of skiing was another winner of a day. Hey guess who almost forgot their lift ticket again today? DEBBIE TIMMINS! Clear sunny conditions with 30 temps. The sky was cloudlessly blue that day and contrasted sharply against the white trails. No lift lines added to a perfect day of skiing.

What a day. WHAT A WEEKEND! Solitude worked the kinks out of my leg and most skied the entire day. Even Gimp (Scott Gentry) was working on technique.

Oddly, we always managed to meet for lunch and catch up with our daily adventures. This is something that rarely happens on an out West trip.

Alan Graves thought he was going to sneak by without getting a nick name, well. After the third day of asking where the complex's garbage bins were, Alan was appointed "(G)arbage Man" when he finally spotted them.

That night, we all went our separate ways for dinner expecting to get together for dessert at Lisa Tosos' condo. Exhausted, Lisa called off the party setting herself up for a boner nomination. Concerned that he would have to lug bottles back home, Ben Komar shared a variety (3 bottles) of wines. We took care of Bens' problem with dignity and respect. RRite BLEn 8*)

On Monday, we decided to divide the vans into three different transports; The Ski van, the Shopping van and the ski & shop combo van. Later these vans were named the "Burley" van, the "Lazy" van, and the "Ah hell, I wanta' do it all" van. Of course Scott Gentry couldn't make up his mind which van to ride in, thus earning the nick name waffle (indecisive) man.

We all finally met at the airport. I was surprised to hear about more injuries (see injured list below) from such expert skiers as Ann Bass, Jim Schatz, Lisa Toso, and Gary Hurm. I was glad, however, to see Gary and Pam Hurm return from their honeymoon to join us.

Comet Hale-Bopp entertained us again coming back but there were other surprises. on our flight home. South West Airlines provided us with a comical emergency information speech that sounded something like this:

"We thank you for choosing SWA, In the unlikely event that we loose cabin pressure, a lovely designer air mask will come down in front of you. When your done screaming place the mask securely around your big nose, and breath normally. Then, look at your children and calmly help your husband put his on. Should the plane have to make an emergency landing in water (From Oklahoma to Chicago) your seat cushion can be used as a floatation device. After you are rescued you may keep the cushion as a momentum, courtesy of SWA. The Captain will now dim the cabin lights for the remainder of the trip. If you need lighting for reading purposes, the button with the light bulb above you will turn on your personal reading light. Note that pushing the button with the stick person will not turn your flight attendant on. We know that there are other airlines to choose from, and we thank you for choosing SWA."

As I returned articles left in condos by seasoned burly skiers, Ann Bass and Jim Schatz, I found myself having to move away from the isle to give Howard Hooper some room to chase the flight attendants. Sorry Howard, I had to throw that in. I was also concerned when I saw a couple of people from my crew in the cockpit of the airplane. Fortunately, they were there for photo opportunities.

All boner nominations were tallied up in the airplane and are copied below for your reading pleasure. Howard Hooper got the most (8) boners and therefore earns the bone head award for this years final trip. Passing the torch was not easy, I followed closely with seven nominations of my own.

As a trip leader I was impressed with how everyone got along and enjoyed each others company. The problems we faced where handled with a sense of flexibility and caring unmatched by any trip I've run. Thank you Ladies and Gentlemen, for making this a wonderful trip to lead. Oh I think I'm gonna cry.

Accepted "nick" names

1. Scott Gentry is Gimp/Waffle Boy
2. Howard Hooper is Landmark Man
3. Alan Graves is G-man (Garbage man)
4. Rey Maa is Map Boy
5. Brian Gough is Bladder Boy (BB)
6. Jim Schatz is Sugar Man
7. Dave Bodenstab is Traveling T-Man
8. Froggie is Utah
9. Hides' Harem graced by: Noriko Komura, DebbieTimmins, Kathy Stewart, Lisa Toso & Michelle Mathews
10. Lisa Weber is Shopping lady, Navigator lady & Luggage lady
11. BDC is Anyone who suggested anything to the van drivers while driving. BDC= Backseat Drivers Club.

Scott Gentry	Calf muscle
Noriko Komura	Head/neck
Rey Maa	knee/mojo
Gary Hurm	knee
Lisa Toso	knee
Jim Schatz	knee
Ann Bass	knee

Official Boner Nominations
(Hot off the list)

1. Rey For leaving the van door unlocked and wide open for 20 minutes in the sporting goods store parking lot.
2. Rey For missing the very first turn out of the airport. Even though he had explicit written directions which he didn't read (thought it was a food menu).
3. Brian Skiing by a large (red cross) sign stuck in the ground by the lodge. He thought it was a Morman church cross.
4. Scott For skiing black diamond runs as a beginner.
5. Lisa W For packing six bags plus her skies and still forgot stuff at home. (Then writing on the boner list:{correction note, only 5 + skies).
6. Debbie Making detail maps of Salt Lake City for all of us and left them at home.
7. Kathy All of the restaurants could not get her food orders right.
8. Howard Getting lost while driving his condo mates around in the van.
9. Lisa W Trying to convince all the people at the hot tub that Mexican food was unique only to Utah. (Never heard of Taco Bell?)
10. Howard Forgot his wallet at dinner Sunday night.
11. Dave B For his famous quote- Jim, why are you stopping on the trail?... Oh shit!
12. Howard Started out for sight seeing with the back of the van open. (Then adding on the boner list - because Scott didn't close it)
13. Debbie For forgetting (almost) her lift ticket to Solitude.
14. Scott For waffling (changing his mind constantly) on which ski van to ride on Monday. (also the person who chose the word waffling)
15. Scott Bringing glass to the hot tub.
16. Howard Limp chip by (in) the hot tub.
17. Alan For trying to dry out the limp chip.
18. Lisa T For believing the story that the tram operator stopped the tram so we could retrieve Alan's ski
19. Michelle For believing Lisa locked the keys in the van while at the grocery store.
20. Lisa T For inviting us all to a party at her condo, arriving late and announcing "I don't feel like having a party". Thus canceling the party.
21. Howard For taking us to the hospital on the way to Alta commenting that "we don't want to go there" pointing to the hospital sign.
22. Howard Neglecting to redeem his voucher for lift ticket at Alta and being forced to go back to the bottom.
23. Howard For his infamous "U" turns.
24. Lisa W For asking Who's Dave? (who's only been an officer for 3 years)
25. Ben When stopped in Kansas - Ben pointed to the "women's" room as being to the right of the "men's"- When it was really to the left. Never had time to use it.
26. Lisa T During assent in airplane from Kansas City the pilot said we could see comet Hale-Bopp. Lisa climbed out of her seat and over people while seat belt sign was on. Also asking if other people would like to see it. This caused the flight attendant to get out of her seat to instruct everyone to get back in their seat and put their seat belts back on.
27. Rey Asking "where's my pen?" then reaching into his pocket and pulling it out.
28. Rey left coat in the plane and did not remember until he got half way to the luggage claim area.
29. Rey For getting off the plane with out his coat. (What, again?)
30. Rey For deciding to go shopping at the end of the ski day making everyone wait in the vans for him
31. Scott For asking "So when do I get good at skiing?".
32. Jim S For forgetting his specially marked shampoo and conditioner bottles in the bath tub.
33. Alan G For borrowing Ann Bass's alarm clock then leaving it behind causing Ann to get a nomination.
34. Ann B For forgetting her book and alarm clock.
35. Shogun For taking 1.45 hours to feed us.
36. Rey For being the last one out of the condo before leaving for home and wanting to sing the Asshole song to Howard for forgetting his swim suit in a plastic bag in the condo. Upon starting the song Rey through the bag to Howard and the swim suit fell out, only to reveal that in fact it was not Howard's but instead was Rey's. Needless to say the song was then sung to Rey. me me me.
37. Scott For packing the back of the van fully and not closing it when finished.
38. Ben For helping Scott pack the van and also not closing it when finished and then writing up Howard for the boner only to divert the blame being put on him for not closing it.
39. Rey For writing all boner nominations (word for word) for the Binding article making this the longest binding article in the history of "The Binding".

    FINALLY,

40. Readers For taking the time to read such non-sense.

1. Howard Supplying our condo with 3 boxes of Kleenex... The kind with lotion so as not to irritate our noses.
2. Jim S For spotting Alan's lost ski and retrieving it off the black diamond mogul infested run.
3. Rey M For sharing his bacon, cheeseburger pizza and teaching us (Lisa Weber and Jim Schatz) head to head Solitare. For sharing his (last) cookie (split into six pieces) with those in the hot tub.
4. Ann B For getting me (Lisa Weber) a Solitude pin.
5. Ann B For paying for the pizza (for the pizza party) While I (Rey) was in the shower.
6. Ben For sharing his wine.
7. Drivers Special thanks to: Howard Hooper, Brian Gough, and Lisa Toso for shuttling us everywhere safely. "We love ya man!"

Let me preface this fine annual party trip by saying that something that would initially be thought of as inconsequential turned out to be quite the annoyance. Weather is usually a major concern to a midwestern skier. Why, well for the most part you have to like either man-made snow or ice if you are going to ski in the midwest. The Marquette trip is traditionally better remembered for its partying than its skiing, mainly due to the long bus ride to Marquette, MI - in the Upper Peninsula (Da Yooper-Land).

This was the 1st trip that I've ever lead! The forecast (in Chicago at least) for the weekend looked "terrible" - enough of a threat that I received a number of phone calls inquiring as to whether the Marquette ski trip was still going to be held.

As it turned out, the Weather was better in the U.P. than it was in Chicago/Milwaukee. Good thing, because the low-point of the trip was getting the hell out of the Chicagoland area. The bus driver was over an hour late getting to IH - and then headed east, directly into the worst traffic possible. During this sojourn we all became victims of Pioneer Coach lines' lack of preparedness. 1) the windshield washer(s) didn't work - much to the dismay of our fine bus-pilot (Ron, a name to live in infamy for all future Marquette bus drivers) - he must have pushed that non-functional windshield washer switch about 1 million times.

As if not having a clean windshield wasn't enough of a problem, we soon discovered that 2) the bathroom lacked a certain flushing capability. We ended up getting the opportunity to CHANGE BUSES after about the IL Rt 22 Half Day Rd exit - which took about 1.5hrs to execute!!!

To conclude the "downside" of the trip, the replacement bus had a manual transmission, and Ron couldn't quite find those gears - so every time we entered a toll booth area, he managed to snuff the motor! Ron barely ever hit 55mph - we ARRIVED in Marquette about 5..6 A.M.

The bus driver/ride became so annoying that Rey decided to hop into a car with two very young girls at a gas-station about 50mi away from Marquette, and actually ended up at the hotel before the bus....

Rather than enumerate the nonsense that took place as we each would have liked to have killed Ron (the so-called bus driver) I thought that I'd include some snippets of email that resulted from Rey's initial posting of a don't forget reminder list with a few incorrectly spelled items (e.g. globes for gloves).

Miscellaneous Extras:
_______Watch/alarm
_______Swim suit/goggles
_______Camera, flash, film
_______Vitamins/pain reliever
_______Pillow
_______Inflatables?

Hey Rey, Before you decide to bring that inflatable, I think you better check with John to see how much extra it will cost you (I believe extra roomies mean extra costs, right John?).

p.s. You might also want to first okay this with the "chosen one" that will be staying in your room with you. Mare

I am the "chosen one" and if Ray brings any inflatable toys, he's sleeping in the pool. Mark N.

Rey, Since you have it on the list as an "essential" ... and since you are so experienced with trips such as these and therefore looked up too as a knowledgeable source of information ... and therefore many trip members will be using your checklist before getting on the bus to Marquette, I thought I'd ask on behalf of everyone: "For what reason do you feel we need to bring GLOBES on the Marquette trip and how many do we need?"

Please let us know ASAP .... I, in particular, don't have one handy and shopping time is running out! ... ;) Just me, Mare

Where ever I lay my hat, that's my home. Though most of us like to consider ourselves "the chosen one", Mark is more like the cheezy one. That's ok. As long as he's not cutting them. I am surprised by Marks' inflatable phobia since he's full of hot air himself. The pool sounds nice except I might roll over and get a rude awakening. If I'm feeling bubbly, I'll try the hot tub! Of course this means that I'm not sleeping in a room which would give me a significant discount (no room = less cost, right John?).

True, people look up to me for knowledge and wisdom regarding trips of this nature. Others just like to look up... I've found that bringing a globe satisfies a persons need to bring their bowling ball. Since "skis" were not included on the essentials list, I feared the worst. If you bring a globe on a ski trip, the trip leader may kindly show you where you are (relative to the globe).

A revised list has been generated for your viewing pleasure. I believe this list can still be considered official. However if you feel you have a better list, please send your list to any IHSC officer for approval (or if anything, a good laugh).

Thought I'd let you all know that GLOBES are an essential part of any serious skier's equipment. Until one masters the art of ``minimal turns'' (described below) and, hence, attains the proper downhill velocity, the GLOBES are used as snow-snake decoys. If attached via stout cords to ones ankles, they will drag in the snow behind the skier on their way to the bottom of the hill. If one happens to encounter any snow snakes lurking in the snow, the snakes will be distracted (by laughter) and strike at the GLOBES rather than the legs of the skier. Our GLOBE-equipped skier will have avoided a nasty fall and possible injuries.

The problem is that the makers of ski boots have inadvertently designed them such that a skier faces downhill and have not taken into account that a skier's eyes are positioned on the front of their heads. This leads to fear on the part of the skier, and unfortunately, causes many novice skier's to attempt to actually *slow down* during the run to the bottom of the hill. We can overcome this irrational fear of high-speed motion in the downward direction by using a simple, home-made training tool: the BAG. Worn properly (and painted a bright color to compliment the GLOBES) a BAG allows one to gain the experience and confidence to effortlessly outmaneuver the snow snakes. Simply by placing the BAG over ones head at the top of the ski slope (of course *after* attaching the GLOBES to ones ankles) the art of ``minimal turns'' can be attained -- just ski straight to the bottom without the distractions occasioned by sight. For black-diamond runs, use two BAGS.

Both BAG and GLOBES can be dispensed with once one has mastered this simple technique. See y'all at the top of the slopes at Marquette... don't forget to pack your GLOBES and BAGS! Dave Bodenstab

PS. Tomorrow's lesson: the theory and practice of MOJO and its application to skiing.

I've just been told that the temperature up around Marquette is expected to be a lovely 0 degrees Fahrenheit. Don't forget your long underwear with those globes you're all packing. Debbie

Actually John probably meant "could be as late as 7am" but by mistake typed in 1 instead of 7. Right John? :-) -Nimmi

I just read the mail that John sent out late Friday. I just got it because I left work early on Friday, anyway, one of the last lines says: "We'll be arriving very late Friday evening" (note the "very late" part of the sentence). Later on it says: "could be as late as 1am." Knowing what we know now, that's pretty funny John.

Ever think about becoming a comedian???? Mark N.

Look at it this way - if you really fail at what you're doing, you can always become a bus driver. They don't call 'em Pioneer Coaches for nothing - Imagine the stories that Ron (the bus pilot) is telling his friends and co-workers about us today!?

FROM THE HOME OFFICE IN WHAWHO NEBRASKA, COMES THE TOP TEN LIST OF PHRASES HEARD ON THE BUS.

#10.

"You think he knows how to drive a stick?"

#9.

"Isn't that Ray getting into that car with those girls" followed by

#8.

"Shit! he took my food"

#7.

"I like driving down the highway counting the trees"

#6.

"Who's got the blue globe ... BOOOP!!!" (the sound made by the blue globe as is hits you in the head).

#5.

"OK I want to get Lisa, who's with me!" said during the global ball battle. Seconds later Lisa leaned out from behind her cover and BOOOP!

#4.

"What do you bet he stalls it at this toll booth"

#3.

BOP!BOP!BOP!BOP!BOP!BOP!BOP!BOP!BOP!BOP!BOP! (The sound of being caught in a headlock and getting bounded by a globe).

#2.

"I think I was stretched an inch taller, now I'm taller then Ray"

#1.

"Are we there yet", said as the bus was leaving in the IH parking lot. Gary

I hope that we got back at a reasonable time for people, yes I did want to watch the Packer game, but there were also people that wanted to get in a full day of skiing on Sunday since we had a short day on Saturday. These people came on the trip with the knowledge that the bus would leave at roughly 5:00 on Sunday, I did not think it was appropriate to shorten their ski day, and I also did not want to take a vote and single out these people. I figured if people were going to get mad, it might as well be at me, sometimes that happens when you are in charge. Jim Kuhn

At first I thought we only snapped six pictures, then I realized that I was standing on my head. I quickly turned the camera upside down and noticed only nine pictures snapped. I wouldn't want to develop all that film for just nine pictures. Now Rey, if you had remembered to use your globe before you looked at the camera the first time you most likely would not have bumped into this problem.